Time to Talk with your Teenager

In our many, many drives back and forth to DD rehearsals, we have had many conversations. Lately, however, we have been listening to a book on tape. I had recommended that she should read The Shack, but given the tons of books that she reads, she has not had time, so the other day she took it out on tape. So each night, we have been listening eagerly. And then we started talking again, she has so much to stay that we are stuck in The Shack unable to move forward because we’ve been chatting so much. But I sure will never complain about her talking too much (ok, maybe sometimes – but I think you mom’s know what I mean).

Last night’s conversation was one that every parent would love to hear from the child, but I was lucky enough to get it. She began talking about how a friend of hers confided in her that she hated her mother. She let me know that she had counseled the girl to be careful about the words she used and that she should really think about why she thinks that. The girl told her how much cooler everyone else’s mom is. DD responded, “I’ve thought about this a lot, and, you know how your parents sometimes tell you how perfect some other child is or that you should be more like so and so? Well it’s the same thing. They don’t see those children when they are misbehaving and we don’t see those other parents when they are having mental breakdowns. Sometimes we don’t see how cool our own parent’s are. . .” She went on and on but I think I stopped listening. She understood. I think I was in my 20’s when I got this. . . Maybe we will find our way through these teenage years yet.

BTW, I think this conversation had some implication that I may have a few cool genes. It may take us a lot longer to finish The Shack than I expected, but I’m ok with that.

by,
MOM

Punishment Turned Time Together

Things have been a little tense in the mom and me field. The me, C, is spreading her teenage wings. And mom, D, has been super frustrated on so many different fronts. So it was really good tonight to laugh together.

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. ~e.e. cummings

What seemed to be unfortunate, the loss of computer without complete parental supervision i.e. sitting directly next to you watching each and every keystroke (BTW - boy can C type fast), became a good laugh. She was IMing a friend from church. The subject turned toward Latin - one of my favorite subjects and my daughter's least favorite. We got very silly and had a good, long laugh. It is a very good thing that the cam was not on.

From Carousel to Vampires to Obama on a Unicorn

I think that it is great that DD is still involved in Girl Scouts. It is a great program for her and a great opportunity for us to spend time together too. We may do a lot of good works, but this weekend was just fun. We went to see Carousel at the University of Hartford and then went to dinner. We were supposed to go the Cheesecake Factory, but with a 1 ½ to 2 hour wait, we opted to go to Cosci.



Theater tickets can be very expensive, but if you find a local college especially one with an acting / music program like the University of Hartford has the HARTT school, you can see excellent theater in an intimate setting for a very reasonable price.

Of course if you go with a group of five crazy teenagers in your car, you better be prepared for theater performance of your own on the way home. I was treated to the never-ending story (kind of like telephone, but each person adds a segment of the story) of a vampire, Jasper, and his human girlfriend, Tally. It was bizarre enough, but when we got closer and closer home and they realized that they had to finish up, the story took an even stranger twist when the dark dreary setting was suddenly pierced by blue skies and flowery meadows and out of nowhere a pink and white unicorn came prancing in with Obama on it. You can only guess that DD added that portion to which she “Dot, Dot, Dotted”(in other words, passed it to the next person to add their section). To which the next person added, “McCain then walked in since he didn’t have enough money to buy a unicorn and said, “My Good Friends” . . . Ok, I will not bore you with their craziness, but I will share with you the bases for their plot change, as we all know that every story has an inspiration.

Time for Some Campaignin' Funny Jokes at JibJab

Guidebook to Raising Teenagers

Someone please tell me where the guidebook is for raising teenagers. I am trying so hard. I remember how difficult it was to be a teen, to try to fit it, to have your body change before your eyes; but I think DD, thinks that I have no idea what it is like.

We tried the mall again this weekend and then they came back to the house to hang out. I could tell you the good and the bad parts of the day, but suffice it to say there was a few times that I spoke to them and apparently in doing so completely embarrassed DD. After they left, she broke down in tears. My heart broke for her and I apologized for her being embarrassed, but refused to retract or promise not to do anything I did. Trying to maneuver our way through this time is going to be very difficult.

I welcome all advice, especially from those of you who have been through this and endured.

She is such a smart, interesting, creative girl. I don’t want her to shortchange herself. I wish that we could offer her so much more, but we do the best we can. I hope the one thing that she knows is that we love her with all our heart.

Mom & the Mall

DD had asked to go hang out at the park with two of her friends. I nixed the idea. If we had been down at the fields, she could have gone off with them, but I could not see the point of just aimlessly roaming. It seemed like a recipe for trouble (not that DD tends to be trouble). So I told her that she was old enough to go to the mall with me, but then she and her friends could go off a bit by themselves as long as they checked back with me at the coffee shop (actually I did one better, I found a Boarders Bookstore with a coffee shop) periodically. She was estatic and so the day was planned or so I thought. She and her friends spent all morning making and breaking plans. The phone rang almost continuously, even DD got annoyed at her friends I think. Finally, the appointed time came and we headed over. I actually picked up my father so I had someone to keep me busy too. And would you believe it, one of the "friends" never made it - - -Let me rephrase that, "He arrived just in time for us to leave, as we had other plans for the evening". Then to top it off the other friend decided to stay with him and mean parent that I am, I refused to leave until I made sure that she was with the boy and his father, which resulted in us being late to our next stop. I was supposed to be home at 4 to head to DH's dad's house and instead I was barely leaving the mall. UhOh! So much for trying to be the cool mother of a teen.



However, I did get the next book for my book club, had a great hot vanilla Chai, and had a good conversation with my dad. So it wasn't a total loss.



NOTE: I went to the Borders website to find you a picture of their cafe. I keyed in the location we went to and opened up that link and found this picture of their store, except it isn't a picture of their store in the mall we went to. I hope no one uses this picture when they go online to get directions, because they will drive in circles at the mall and never, ever see this.

Mother Casts a Shadow Over Daughter, But Daughter's Brilliance Shines On

I know DD loves me, but there are times that I think that she is sick of me. Somehow I appear everywhere. She can’t get away from me. Even when I try to not get involved, it happens anyway. Today at her first class of confirmation, I was tapped to teach next week because our minister and the regular helper cannot. So a deacon and I are going to give the class.

Poor DD – It is like mom will never go away. I hope at least with this entry, she will know that I love her and apologize for always being like a shadow. She needs to know that her light shines bright enough to overpower my shade.

Survivor - Gabon

Watch CBS Videos Online

I figure we better get to know them, because I am sure this will be a huge part of our blog over the next few months. DD has been a fan since the very first episode. She would put off doing things in her "real" life to make sure that we were home to see her show (thank goodness for the internet and On Demand Cable - now we can live and still see Survivor). Some people questioned if she was too young to watch the show when it first came out, but not only have we found it to be a good family show. On those occassions that the content becomes questionable like nudity for peanut butter or Johnny Fairplay's Grandmother game, we have had some very good ethical behavior conversations. So I warn you all, don't call our home from 8-9pm EST on Thursday evenings - at least not for the next few months. And on those evenings that we have Girl Scouts first, moms, you better do your talking to me before the meetings, because I am under strict instructions to get home ASAP.

Is anyone else a Survivor Fan out there?

Apple Cider Hearkens in Fall

C and I love our tea breaks, thus the name of our blog. We enjoy our chias. I appreciate my flavored coffee, especially at night after the kids have gone to bed. BUT nothing really compares to hot mulled cider. I think that it is more that the flavor and the warmth, I think it is the season that comes with it. If you are from New England, you know that fresh apple cider also means crisp air and colored leaves are on their way.

Today, we had our first warm apple ciders of the season. Not only does it taste delicious, the house smells oh so good.

Not Back to School Picnic without a Bathing Suit

Today, the kids and I spent the day at the beach with fellow homeschoolers. A Not Back To School Picnic, for those of you that don’t homeschool, is a celebration of our freedom to homeschool. We get together to enjoy the sunshine while other children are stuck inside stuffy schools (We always wonder what the other beach goers think when we are there).





Of Course, our house would not be the home with a teenager in it without a little bit strife on our way to the beach. Apparently, she never took her swimsuit out of her father’s truck when we went to Salisbury Beach – ONE WEEK AGO! Grrrrrr! Even in this she has to fight with me, “It’s Fine. I’m not going to swim anyway!” I was going to call the whole thing off, but relented and just had her bring an extra pair of clothes. Good thing too, because she spent most of the day is the water. Proof she is my dear daughter. If mermaids were real, we’d both be one.

Are you 2?

I am beginning to see huge similarities between two year olds and thirteen year olds, especially as it relates to independence and temperament. Remember when they were two and you incessantly heard “No. Me Do!” The words may be slightly different now, but the defiance is the same. And while the tantrum may not be on the floor, the rolling of the eyes and the slamming of doors sure sends the same message. On the positive side, Moms, this means we’ve been through this stage before. We survived it once, we can do it again.

My greatest reassurance lately comes from SuperNanny and Nanny 911 as they give mothers of two year olds advice. I have taken to watching the show even though my children are well older than most of the children they work with. Their advice to remain calm cannot be reiterated enough. Also, if the kids watch it with me, they are old enough to see how foolish the behaviors appear. I personally get a good laugh when they comment how silly a child looks when they XYZ which is exactly the same behavior my children had showed 15 minutes earlier.

Of course, I am not faultless. The other thing that this show reminds me is that I need to spend more time with the children. Time to shut off the tv, close out the computer, and do something with the kids.

Titanic Exhibit at the XL Center

Today I went to the Civic Center to see the Titanic Exhibition. The Titanic always has fascinated me and I love to learn more and more about it. Today, my mom and my grandfather went with me to see the exhibition on the Titanic. As we descended down the stairs (after we bought our tickets) to the exhibit I wait for my mom and grandfather to catch up with me. We bought the audio tour……which I was really happy that we got because it explained everything that we were seeing. When we started, we were given a boarding of an actual person who went on the Titanic. At the end of the exhibit, we got to see if our person survived.

As we walked around I was amazed to see how many artifacts they have brought up from the wreck. There were some playing cards; plates from 1st class, 2nd class, and 3rd class; there were the ropes and pulleys……there were a lot of artifacts that you would think would not survive. Right before the end, they recreated the iceberg and you could touch it to see how cold it was. Let me tell you it was COLD!!! Now I can see how so many people died from hypothermia. I felt like I could die right there and then if I held my hand there for a while. Just think of the people in the colder ocean.









Once we all made it to the end I looked for my person: Miss Kate Florence Phillips (aka Kate Marshall). . . .She was 19 in 2nd class (which in other ocean liners would be 1st class) and pregnant. She survived. My mom had Dr. Alice Leader age 49 in 1st class Cabin D-17 and she also survived. My grandfather had Colonel Archibald Gracie 4th in 1st class cabin C-51 and he also survived. I was amazing to see who lived and who died. So many Crew and 3rd class didn’t make it. It was amazing!!! I loved that exhibit and I can’t wait until they find more artifacts!

By C

A Game Called Life

With the men away, DD have been finding ways to spend time together and reunite with old friends. As she knows that I have about had it with the game of Spit, she recommended the game of Life. We played yesterday and today. Yesterday, I played a respectful game. I started with college, got married, bought a house, had children and LOST MISSERABLY! Today, I changed my tactic. I skipped school and started my career, got married (there are no options to that), lived in my car, remained childless, and CHRUSHED HER : ) What a great life lesson ; ) at least we had fun.



What games do you and your daughter enjoy playing?

Outdoors Women

Great daughter quote when we were in Cabela’s today.




It dawned on me as we were eating lunch that she still needed to pick up a gift for her friend’s birthday party tomorrow. “Why don’t you buy something for Eva here?”

“Mom, she probably doesn’t even know what Cabela’s is. She isn’t an outdoor girl like you and me.”

How nice it felt to be in here camp “you and me”. I guess I’ll have to keep up my hiking.