Cherish the Moment's

This weeks Flashback Friday from Mocha with Linda kind of surprised me (a good surprise Linda) because I just finished writing an article about how cancer has touched my life, so this week the Flashback should be really good. ☺

"How old were you (approximately) when you attended your first funeral? Did your parents shield you from death and grief or was it viewed as a natural part of life? Did you experience any significant loss(es) in your growing up years? What were your early impressions of death and dying? And while I do not intend this in any irreverent way, are there any amusing memories associated with a death or funeral? If you have kids, how have you handled this subject with them? Feel free to share as vulnerably or as shallowly as you want!"

My first funeral was in the end of 2001/early 2002 (I don't remember) it was for my grandmother, who passed away in October 2001 from Esophageal Cancer. My mom didn't really want me to go to her funeral, but I still went. When I was at the funeral itself, I was fine for the beginning, until people started talking about how great my grandmother was, and then I lost it. Mom and my aunt were trying comfort me throughout the whole funeral, it didn't really work. Once the funeral was all done, and the after party was done it was kind of quite, but we had my grandmother cremated (her wishes) and she wanted to be dumped at Hawks Nest Beach in Old Lyme, CT. So we then went to Hawk's Nest in April-ish, Garvin was good enough to not only allow us to spread my grandmother's ashes, but also let us use one of his boats, and he drove us out in the water. While we were in the sound, we all grabbed a flower (I grabbed grandma's favorite just by fluke)


I grabbed a Baby's Breath, when we made it to the area in which my grandmother wanted to be dumped (okay, I can't think of a better word!) my grandfather and mother dumped her ashes and everyone threw their flowers into the water. The boat ride wasn't as bad, because my family has a cottage with it.



I knew that she would always be with me whenever I swim in the sound during the summer.


November 2007, my great-grandmother, aka Grammie fell down her stairs in Florida, and couldn't get up. She was found the next day by a friend who visits daily. Grammie had multiple broken bones, and was in the hospital for a while. She died Thanksgiving night, we had her funeral was up in CT, and was a very small family funeral.

As a kid, especially after my grandmother died, I thought everyone lost the battle with cancer, and that death was always following you around. I missed my grandmother deeply after she died for a good couple months. I've finally have come to peace with death, it's still in my life, and I'll still grieve every time someone close to me dies, but I will also continue living my life.

Now that was the flashback, check out how cancer has affected my life, with the article that I've written.

Don't Give Up!

There are many different types of cancer (and different ways to cause cancer). There is Esophageal Cancer, Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma, Breast Cancer, and Medulloblastoma, just to name a few. Living with cancer in your life is hard, even if you aren’t the one who is diagnosed with it. June 2001 my grandmother, Linda, was diagnosed with Esophageal Cancer.

In August 2001 Linda had to have a feeding tube placed. Alan a family friend who was also battling cancer at the age of 8 and also had a feeding tube, came to her hospital room and showed her how to use, clean, and care for her feeding tube. When Alan showed my grandmother how to do this, it gave us all a little bit of hope, and also put Alan in a special place in my heart. The last bite of solid food my grandmother ate was in October 2001. I made her a batch of Pillsbury slice-n-bake cookies (our signature dish). She had one bite and hid the rest from me. Because she didn’t want me to see that she couldn’t eat a whole cookie, but also wanted to show me that she loved the thought. I didn’t learn that she hid the cookie until a couple years ago, although it made me realize how bad cancer has affect her, it also made me realize that she loved me then, loves me still and it watching over me today.

My grandmother died a couple weeks later in her bedroom, after we just received a call from her brother, saying he couldn’t make it home in time. Friends and family were in the house and were with her during her last days. When my grandmother died, not only did I lose my grandmother, but I also lost a close friend. My grandmother was also the first person in my life that I have lost, and with the close connection between us was very hard on me. I still think of her constantly.

My best friend’s mom, Shirley, was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin's B Cell Lymphoma in 2003. It was hard on my friend, but it was also hard on me, because Shirley was like a second mother to me, and after just losing my grandmother a couple years before cancer was still fresh in my life. I also knew what my friend was going through, so I was always there for her, if she ever needed me. In 2004 my family went down to Florida, and were then surprised to be getting a call learning that Shirley had finished her chemo and wanted to celebrate it with us and go on a canoe trip. Shirley and her family made their way down to Florida and met up with us. We spent about a week celebrating Shirley ending Chemo. Knowing that Shirley won made me realize that you can win the battle against cancer, and not everyone dies.

I have never had cancer myself, but it has been in my life enough. Unfortunately I can name others who have both won and lost the battle. It’s hard for the person who is battling cancer, but it’s also hard on the friends and family of that person. When I lost my grandmother, I was six and didn’t really understand cancer but I knew how hard it is to live your life, but also care for the person with cancer. Now, unfortunately, I know what cancer is and what it does to a person and can do to their family. I, also, know that cancer can bring feelings of sadness, happiness, hopefulness, and sometimes grief. The most important thing that I learned with having cancer in my life is Cherish the moments you have, because you don’t know when they’ll be gone.

For more information about cancer go to http://www.cancer.org/

By C ♥

♥ Cherish the moments you have, because you don't know when they'll be gone ♥